So Much Unfairness Of Things

Chasing The Gerber Dragon: Iphone apps, shadenfreude, and so much ...

I have a confession to make.  I am a “What To Expect When You’re Expecting” IPhone app addict.  Time was when the “Texting While Intoxicated” app was my favorite (forwarded texts from 20-somethings about drunken debauchery – ironically often involving conversations that sound like this: “Dude, I think I might be pregs” – answer: “Whore.”).  But in an effort to effectively track my cycles I downloaded the WTE app and behold – inside access to all the longing, loss, jealousy, anger, frustration and (occasionally) joy the “TTC community” has to offer (for you newbs out there, TTC is Trying to Conceive). The WTE app, I discovered, in addition to totally useless little tidbits (for me) about “how to keep romance in the relationship while you’re TTC” also includes access to four discussion boards - “Trying to Conceive” (my personal favorite because it’s the most active), “Fertility Treatments” (second favorite because of helpful information – also a lot more older moms on here, go figure), “Preparing for Pregnancy” (not too interested in this one because they mostly involve posts that sound like this: “my DH *Dear Husband* is 24 and I’m 19 and I’m trying for baby #1, so excited!!!"), And "Grief and Loss" (I do not touch it with a ten foot pole). I read the above, several times a day for months now, and I noticed some small interesting things. It is when one of the ladies gets his 'Freedom Party' (Big Fat positive, as in the pregnancy test), the other ladies, surprisingly, chime right with (what I assume are) sincere congratulations . It's completely unbelievable to me. Also confirms my suspicion that my inability to be happy for others when they get something I want me a bad person.  The other is (and this will probably also confirm I am a bad person) I am shocked by the circumstances in some of these women’s lives, and yet they want to reproduce.  Nearly all of them claim to be overweight, they often have husbands with no jobs or on disability, have other children or stepchildren, are living with in laws, etc etc, as in, far from ideal circumstances, and yet they are hell bent on having another baby.  In my more evil days (have I mentioned I’ve become slightly less evil lately?

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