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The Apprentice episode five – liveblogged | UpToNews.com | News Up ...

Good evening! It’s The Apprentice Episode 5, and the much loved “invent a product no-one will ever buy, call it something obscure and then create a heinous TV ad” task. Hooray! In previous years this has given us such characters as a pant-wearing cereal killer and an octopus sex predator, so literally anything could happen.

What we can be sure of is that a) the products will be dreadful, b) the adverts will be firmly embedded in 1970s School of Crack-Fuelled Literal Advertising and c) the teams will prove themselves to be more witless than a room full of rapping Halifax employees.

So this year they’re creating a new brand of pet food, which will no doubt give Alan Sugar and Nick Hewer free range on the pet-related puns. I anticipate at least one incidence of “dog’s dinner” and “you were barking up the wrong tree”. I think we should make that tonight’s drinking game, pending of course any mention of Vincent’s “rez-yoo-may”, at which point we all have to drain the cocktail cabinet, including that dusty bottle of crème de menthe at the back.

I’ll be here from 9pm charting every jelly-coated meaty chunk of comedy goodness – who will come up with the winning whiskas? And who will no longer be Lord Sugar’s Pedigree Chum? OK, OK, I’ll stop now. Please join in the fun by leaving your comments in the box below – the more the merrier. As ever Apprentice superfan and commenter extraordinaire ladyribenaberet will be scouring the comment box for the highlights, and sending them to me so I can post them up here.

See you at 9!

Previously, on The Apprentice: our candidates attempted to sell beauty products and treatments to the people of Birmingham, who all collectively said “umm, no” to forehead merkins and Jim’s creepy massaging hands. Felicity’s team managed to make a significant loss, which is an achievement in itself. Rather unsurprisingly, Felicity got fired. Bye bye Felicity.

They are at TBWA, a very important advertising agency. Lord Sugar is on the big screen, flanked by Karen and Nick. This week’s task: creating, branding and advertising their own “unique” pet food. Never use the word “unique”, Alan. They’ll be making fishy ice lollies for cats.

Vincent is team leader of Logic, whereas Glenn is in charge of Venture. Vincent! In charge! Oh, what joy.

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